Sunday, February 05, 2006

What the.....?

First off, if any of my wonderful commenters left a comment yesterday (*ahem* BB) they were lost because I think I broke blogger. It seems to be working now and I think that your comments should be seen by the world. (I.e. please repost, especially if you posted a comment and aren't BB who is the only person who's comment I actually saw.)

OK, so several things have caught my eye and I just wanted to say, what the hell is that? So you're all wondering what this wonderful napping, cushion, god knows what thing is? It's a breast pillow. I guess lonely guys who couldn't possibly get anything from a living, breathing woman (I must question your judgement and your intelligence if you buy a product like this) can now buy their own pair of breasts to sleep on! Now they can rest easy. With how obsessed men seem to be with the female mammary glands maybe now they can have their own and stop leering at ours? Alas, no, this will probably not be the case. Sigh.

Nope, not only will we have to endure overgrown apes staring, drooling, and sometimes groping of our own mammaries, but now these men can drool, stare, and grope without needing to "deal" with the person that they are attached to. And they do make such a nice, comfortable pillow.
"Made for those who want to put their head on someone breasts, this is a soft but firm pillow in the shape of two naked breasts with realistic pink nipples. Put your head on one of the breasts or between them, either way you'll be in paradise!"
Paradise! Because you know, it's so much better to have your own pair of breasts that you don't need to worry about having an opinion, talking back, or indeed, doing any sort of thinking. It's much better this way, trust me. Breasts that are actually attached to people have so many pesky demands, like they want you to acknowledge that there's a living, breathing, thinking person attached to them. Who needs that kind of pressure?

Also I found (god help me, I don't know how I find these things) an ad for a poker site. It can't be worse then that crap we see on tv anyway, right? Well of course it does! I've checked out the site, and it's a pretty straightforward gambling site. How do they sell this site, you ask? With this monstrosity of misogynist fantasies found here. (WARNING: It's NOT WORK SAFE. Some nudity is contained within.)

Are you seething and spitting epitaths like I was after I watched it? Would ANY woman you know decide to play strip poker with some pervert who then said that he had been watching them through the fence? And his partner/wife jump in to join? Really? And was anyone else thinking the entire time that there is no way in hell would I play strip poker (as if I play strip poker. haha, not since high school. I wanna see someone naked, I go ahead and let them know *sheesh* [/tangent]) with that guy? I have absolutely no desire to see him naked. Actually, I have no desire to see him at all. Seems like one of the people I'd have a screaming match with at the bar, on the street, whatever. But of course there are young, skinny, attractive women who not only want to play poker with this jackass, but turn it into a strip tease. (Note how much the women were performing as they were taking their clothes off. Yeah, that was realistic.)

ARGH!!!

7 comments:

druidbros said...

Oh thats nothing have you seen the Fleshlight? See... http://www.fleshlight.com/main/products.cfm?id=1001

And you never have to worry about those pesky periods. I also remember seeing an article about some dweeb who talked about his lifesize doll like it was alive. I cant imagine the 'star trek' contingent was so large. I also cannot imagine why these losers would need these products other than the fact they are either (1)afraid of real women (2)dont want a real woman because they interfere with 'World of Warcraft' sessions or (3)dont want someone who has an opinion different than theirs.

lost clown said...

Good lord! Men actually buy that stuff?

"The Non-Descript Fleshlight™ is perfect for the man who wants all the sensation and health benefits of regular fleshlight use, without the added visual stimulation."

Ugh. and Ew.

Lorenzo said...

Those breast pillows and the poker add are both perfect examples of portraying women's bodies as existing for men's use. They exemplify the mentality perfectly and, in the case of the commercial, it is almost a study in how the camera can take an exclusively male perspective (incidentally, I was lucky enough to see Cleo from 5 to 7 as part of a film class I took as an elective and it did a fantastic job of demonstrating exactly how the camera can be used to portray woman as object or woman as subject).

I'm not so sure about the fleshlight, however. It seems more of a parallel with a dildo, in the sense of having the purpose of creating sensations rather than actually serving or being percieved as a substitute for or replacement for an actual partner. I'm not so sure of the connection between that and something like a real doll which is clearly in line with the pillows and add.

lost clown said...

I could see that, but their descriptions....yuck.

Biting Beaver said...

Yep, all of these 'products' (and I use the term loosely because it seems that products, by virtue of definition, seem to imply that the thing being sold is of some use other than misogyny) are purely another extension of women being sliced up and sold as parts.

There's tons of these things on the market, in fact, here's a dude who things that vagina's are drawers and naked women (from the waist down)is a wonderful addition to a table.

lost clown said...

oh my god. disgusting.

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