Sunday, February 05, 2006

ATTENTION SEARCHERS

I am going to correct some of the misconceptions that bring web surfers to this page. Although I will start with the ones I find amusing, yet harmless. These are all ones that surprise me that they made their way to me.

Everyone who has been looking for the plot lines and/or meaning behind Desiree's Baby or A Pair of Silk Stockings I suggest you sit down and read all 9 or 6 pages, respectively. Kate Chopin's a brilliant author, the pages will just fly by (although I may write a feminist critique of her at some point and I'm sure that will make your scholastic procrastination even easier) It's really not that long, but if you have 15% more spinal fluid you may not be able to sit down and concentrate on such an emasculating "girly" book.

If you are looking for "horny" women and not "Horney" then you are in the wrong place. I also suggest that you check out dictionary.com. Or perhaps need I point out that you should possibly read a book, because you can learn more that way. But then again, I'm suggesting "girly books" you know, the ones with words.

I will also not be giving tips on "How to make men horney (sic)" as much as I will be talking about how to make me horny (i.e. treating women as human beings and not sex objects.) I have no idea how to make men into Karen Horney, but if I could, you're damn right I would. Although "What makes men horney (sic)" got a bunch of results on Karen Horney. Trust me, this is what you should be interested in way more then your original search (3 page views and 7 minutes! East Rockaway, NY. Come back again some time and say hi (or not..it's ok, just come back!) You shouldn't worry too much about making men horny, that, unfortunately is not a problem in this hypersexualised society.)

Also, you will find no "bootylicious women" here (Reston, VA. You came back twice! but didn't stay long enough). You will find a critique of the song and burlesque.

I am also not a "burlesque directory" and I will not tell you where any burlesque clubs are. I would suggest the yellow pages, but I don't know because I HATE BURLESQUE. (Idaho Falls, I'm looking at you)

EDited to add: Duncan, BC it's burlesque, not burlesgue. You shoulc also try picking up a "girly" book of visiting dictionary.com

Exhibitionist feminism from WA. I'm very interested in what that looks like.

feminism performance art burlesque LA (2 page views-4:11) I suggest you come back, because you should know that burlesque is not feminist.

A few shout outs:
Hi Burlesque is sexist from Australia!! You weren't on long enough to read my post, I suggest you come back.

Hello patriarchy rape "killing us" You're damn right it is!

All right, more later. I thought that you all might want to read some of this, b/c it makes me giggle everytime I get a new search.

12 comments:

Maia said...

This is hilarious - I know the feeling. I have frequently wanted to explain to people why they're in the wrong place, but I don't think I'd do it this well.

In particular the person who searched for "Why equal pay is bad" was in the wrong place. I also used to get a lot of Courtenay Love hits - that was weird.

Dr. Brazen Hussy said...

Funny! I love checking out what searches lead people to my blog. I get a lot of "what the hell is wrong with me", which kind of makes me sad. Also, one time I posted about Katie Holmes being pregnant, with the question "What happened to Katie's hymen?" - which has led to a truly disturbing number of people coming from searches for "hymen". I have a feeling my readers in Egypt and Saudi Arabia searching for "hymen" aren't really finding what they're looking for on my blog.

Terry said...

This most frequent search results leading to me is "pictures of invisible people." Duh - if they're invisible, how would you take a picture?

lost clown said...

HA!

Pictures of invisible people. Thank god I don't have words like "beaver" or "teenage cat girls" in my blog site name or else I bet the searches would be a lot worse.

Biting Beaver said...

LMAO - I LOVE this post as I am endlessly amused by the searches that bring people to the site.

Obviously, with 'beaver' in my site name I get tons of frightening and downright strange and funny searches.

Heh, I really think that everyone should get together and do a joint Friday search post to out those folks who are looking to "Rape those sluts" (no shit I actually got that one) or the zillions of hits that are just one word, "masturbation" or, one of my favorites, "Female orgams" (sic) Yes, ORGAMS.

It really opens up a new window on what people are looking for when you start logging all those hits.

Great post LC *grin*

lost clown said...

Thanks...I enjoyed yours as well. Luckily I get the more literary minded *rolls eyes* although lately I've been loggin in a lot of hits on "dov charney american apparel sexism." Got to say I like those searches. What boggles my mind is the people who come from porn sites here with no search or anything, like they just decided to type in a random blog name or whatever. I'm very confused by that.

Andrea said...

I'm beginning to rue the day I ever chose this stupid screen name! I only used it because 'She Creature' and 'Pterodactyl Woman' were both taken!
I'm up for the friday pervert blogging.
I once got someone wanting to know to gain repsect from your teenage kid, I felt kinda sorry for them.

Biting Beaver said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Biting Beaver said...

Heh, my pervert blogging for this Friday is already over 60 long. Just since LAST FRIDAY.

Maybe it's because I do so many posts about porn and rape and such that I get them, but dude, I get ALL the whackos. Violent fuckers who want to 'rape beautiful women'.

Very disturbing stuff, but there is a certain joy in calling them out on it. If they use the same search terms then they'll come right to my place and (hopefully) will read the smack down I give to them. *wink*

Biting Beaver said...

Sorry, I double posted that last comment and figured I better delete it *grin*

Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read » »

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