Fighting mental breakdown

OK, so I have 2 math classes. One is a 400-level abstract algebra class that I am doing well in. The second is a 300-level proofs class where I am given a page of shoddy definitions and remarks, am not allowed to talk to anyone, even people in the class, or look at any other books on the subject. Most our grade is from presentation of correct proofs in class, I, of course, am not very confident in my proofs since I am so confused by his notes and talking to the prof is NO HELP whatsoever. It's not like I can't do proofs, 401 is all proofs and I am doing very well in that class. Everyone else has presented 3-4 proofs, and I presented a whooping 1.

I missed class on Tuesday because of a migraine, and I have gone to class with a migraine before, but the way I deal with the inordinate amount of stress is by avoiding the class. I missed class today b/c I missed my first class (she lectures straight from the book, though) and I just couldn't move to get to the proofs class. That's how I deal with anxiety (thanks PTSD), by freezing, or in this case avoiding. I know it's not helping, especially since on Fridays I have to turn in correct forms of all the proofs presented in class (25% of my grade).

ARGH! I need a better way to deal with stress, I know this, hence all the therapy and meds and accupuncture. I would drop this class (never have so many tears been shed over a class) except it's a requirement.

How can I do proofs for my 401 class but not for this one? (Although I have a sneaking suspicion it's because I am able to talk to people and get a better grasp on the material. Group theory, check. Whatever the hell we're doing in 312, definitely not a fucking check.) ACK!

The Moore method sucks. And you know what I remember from my last class that was Moore method? Nothing, except the extreme desire to throw the prof out the window.

WOO WOO WOO

So I got my math test back today. The one that took me 3 hours and had 4 mini panic attacks during and have the prof that makes me feel stupid. I ACED IT!!!! Wooo Wooo!

Although it did bother me that when he was passing the tests back, some people did not want them back because he said that some people did bad, like around 60%, and mine was the top one and he said "For instance, Burrow wants hers back." I thought profs weren't supposed to do that. I kinda wanted to melt into my seat, but I was also like, hell yeah!

And I went for accupuncture today. Going to start going weekly in the hopes of healing me and getting me off so many meds (namely the migraine stuff, the muscle spasm stuff, the seroquel for sleep). Also I'm hoping it can help moderate my moods and allergies. After all that, I'm going to use it to help me quit smoking. That's my graduation gift to myself, because it's hella hard when I have a lot due every week and this is my most stressful quarter yet, which makes sense since the classes are higher level.

No physics yet.