Friday, April 28, 2006

My week in review

Started taking Paxil. Stopped taking Paxil and started taking Zoloft (which is better for PTSD anyway). Passed out from the Zoloft. Oh this is going to be fun.

Took Tuesday off to lay in the sun. My possible unicorn* came over and we made crepes, drank coffee and played in the sun. We talked about my breakdown and the litttle cuts on my legs (I forgot and wore short pants). He's understanding and sweet about it. I also got a chance to ask him why he had read Andrea Dworkin and Catherine MacKinnon. He told me that, being the theory geek he is, and also being a male living in a porn saturated society that he should read up on the topic. Which led him to MacKinnon who in turn led him to Dworkin. Reads Dworkin (ON HIS OWN-you know how most guys have because they dated someone who was into it) and is understanding of PTSD with Borderline tendancies? Yay. (or finally)

Thursday:

Had to go to my Physics lab. Still hate my lab TA. I was in the physics computer lab doing some homework and I had the latest post from Gendergeek entitled "Rape is a second class crime" and he thought it would be funny to say "Stop rape. Say yes." I somehow refrained from punching him (something about his controlling my grade). He then said "It's a joke" and I said "It's not funny." He then countered with "I'm not laughing." to which I replied "but you said it and that's bad enough." Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Oh good my lab TA not only fucking hits on me all the damn time but now is telling rape jokes. Gotta love it. I'm totally reporting that one though. (But don't worry, I do use my razor sharp wit to cut him down to size during the labs.)

Stopped by Take Back the Night (the Rape Relief sponsored one in Vacnouver is MUCH better and much more radical) and got to hear a poem about how being femme is revolutionary and how all the feminists are mad at the femmes b/c the femmes are "getting fucked." Yeah, hairy legged prudes hate you for getting laid. Oh wait, we don't hate you. I may see your idea that femme is revolutionary given the society we're in as lacking an insight into the overall cultural context, but I can tell you one thing: this up tight hairy legged prude is not angry because you're getting fucked and I'm not. We all are. It comes from being an oppressed person in a white patriarchal society. Oh and, I sometimes like to have sex too. *shocked expression*

Finished out the day with a migraine. Woohoo. SO glad I broke down and paid for Midrin. That shit is the best for migraines.

Friday:

A 'joke' from my professor in physics today almost made me cry (I'm touchy lately). That's the second time it's happened, and well he all ready knows I work with Disability Student Resources for anxiety, etc. so I guess I should talk to him about it. Or I should have walked out of class. I don't know, but it sucks that one off hand comment that I would normally shrug off makes me want to cry. Ugh. Now I'm watching my geeky TV shoe Numb3rs (even fake math talk is sexy), and tommorrow I plan on sitting out in the sun and playing with my own numbers.

In other news on May 1st (MAY DAY WOO!!!! Worker's holiday!) I will be Blogging Against Disablism Day. As has been recently noted on this here blog I am on SSI Disability, which means I get money and medical insurance from the government because I am unable to hold down a steady job due to my severe PTSD/borderline tendancies/ensuing depression. Come join in whether you are disabled or not. (I know I missed Blogging against Heteronormativity day and I feel kind of bad about it, but the past few weeks have been riddled with anxiety and inability to put words together in coherent ways.)

ALso I never knew that naming rapists/abusers would have such an impact. I definitely do it more in real life everytime a rapist/abuser comes up in conversation I tell people that I hate them and why. It makes me awfully popular and others awfully uncomfortable.

Time to geek out and play with my kitty.

edited to add: Can anyone tell me how to use technocrati tags in non-computer speak?

*this stems from my belief that male feminists are unicorns. One will always be in training.

8 comments:

hexyhex said...

I went through almost every antidepressent on the market before I found the one that worked for me. True, I'm schizophrenic rather than PTSD, but it seems to be something most people go through when they enter the wonderful world of abnormal brain activity.

Hope it sorts out and gets you to a level of brain-happy where you can not be bothered by dickheads. :(

Kim said...

I love the Unicorn analogy. Sorry to hear your going riding the med roller coaster -- hugs and kitties to you!

spotted elephant said...

I'm sorry you're on the med ride. It sucks beyond belief.

(hugs) to you
explosive diarrhea to your TA and teacher

lost clown said...

Thanks everyone, but the Paxil really had no time to kick in so I don't know what that was like so much.

Yargh. I hate the physics department sometimes (most times?)

Mickle said...

"even fake math talk is sexy"

yes it is. :)

manxome said...

Sorry about the med-go-round. What a great day it would be when most people taking such meds didn't have to get on that horrible ride.

TA is a fuckwad extraordinnaire. And creepy. Really creepy. Go for it.

I love the naming thing. Love love love it. I would love to see the look on the "uncomfortable" ones faces. Vidoe would be nice! ;)

Laura said...

TA - what an arsehole. Hope things re getting better re meds, thinking of you xxxx

TP said...

*this stems from my belief that male feminists are unicorns. One will always be in training.

I agree - after a talk about male porno mags I told my partner he was still learning. He did not like that though.

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