Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Blogger won't let me comment anywhere!

So Laura: I hope you did some stomping for me! I was there in spirit (but with whiskey).

Seen at Dr. Brazen Hussy's:
What Kind of Reader Are You?
Your Result: Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
 

You're probably in the final stages of a Ph.D. or otherwise finding a way to make your living out of reading. You are one of the literati. Other people's grammatical mistakes make you insane.

Book Snob
 
Dedicated Reader
 
Literate Good Citizen
 
Non-Reader
 
Fad Reader
 
What Kind of Reader Are You?
Create Your Own Quiz


Which is true, but what does it say to me being a math/physics major?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Random Bullets (mostly happy)

-The 4th Disability Carnival is up, go read!
-Happiness is watching Logan watch his first snow fall.
-SNOW!!! And lots of it! Up to 30 cm expected today. WOO WOO
-Didn't sleep last night, may not today
-Fingers crossed that school will be cancelled tommorrow
-My first opera (I bought season tickets to Vancouver Opera) is Verdi's MacBeth on Tuesday!!
-Too tired to do homework, too wired to sleep
-Reports that the snow will stay around for awhile AND we'll get more *giddy*
-Just found this blog and I love it! All the posts are so good! Go read!
-Happiness is old time radio ads: 2 out of 3 doctors prefer Camel (cigarettes), because it suits your T zone. That's T for taste and T for throat.
-I switched to Blogger Beta, you may note the new template. Insomnia's good for something.
*edit* I just made a snow angel! WOO WOO.

EEEEEEEE!!!!! SNOW!!!!!

It has recently come to my attention (by me) that most of you who don't live in the GVRD (Greater Vancouver Regional District) may not know about this. Women from Surrey's South Asian community have finally spoken publicly about domestic violence. "If I can improve one girl's life, it is worth my husband's anger," the woman told 1,500 people who packed a banquet hall in this Vancouver suburb.
This is amazing, and not being of South Asian descent I can only imagine the pressures on women in this community to keep quiet about it outside their families.

More:
Narinder Rihal, a support worker at Surrey Women's Centre, said part of the challenge in assisting abused women in any cultural community is their reluctance to seek help from strangers.

"They are discouraged from seeking help from outside the family," said Rihal. "The family does try to help, but sometimes the family is part of the conflict, they can't always see what the real core issue is.

"They are trained and raised to believe that if there is a problem within the family it should be talked about within the family."

Rihal said women often believe that they can't seek help from people outside their own culture because they won't be understood.

"That's not true," Rihal said. "Domestic violence is not a South Asian problem. It is a problem globally."

But British Columbia's attorney-general said there is a bias within South Asian culture that underpins the violence.

Wally Oppal said there is inequality between men and women in the Indian culture, citing the dowry system where women are treated as property.

Oppal, who is Indo-Canadian, said boys are treated preferentially to girls.

Oppal said the community has been in denial for a long time.

"Nobody likes to acknowledge the fact there may be violence in their own home," he said. "I think it's time that the community did that and for that reason I think the forum is a very good idea."

There was little reluctance among those who attended Thursday's meeting, including the family of one of the slain women.
Maldeep Sandhu, whose cousin Navreet Waraich was stabbed to death Sunday, pleaded that the victim's husband Jatinder, charged with second-degree murder, not be released on bail.

They also urged federal immigration officials to allow Navreet's parents to come to Canada and care for their infant grandson.


Read the whole thing. Listening to the women speaking at the public meeting was inspiring, knowing that they faced anger from family members for doing so. They are such beacons of hope and inspiration for me right now (any woman who stands up and remains silent no more is).

*insert witty title here*

This is where my geekiness and feminism collide. Well, they always collide, but that's beside the point. I am addicted to Torchwood. Now people in the UK may know what I'm talking about, but everyone else who doesn't happen to be up on what's being shown on BBC3 may not know what it is.

Here's a brief summary: (And I'm not sure that this will be relevant to those in the US w/o the Sci-Fi network, but trust me, the "tofurkey" of this post doesn't depend on knowing about/watching the show)

Torchwood is the code word for a UK run alien research centre (that we learned in one of the first episodes of series 2 was created by Queen Victoria after meeting the good Doctor) that of course is super top secret and is run by Captain Jack Harkness, who after Rose (Dr. Who) revived him is no longer able to die. There's Ianto, Toshiko, Owen, and the new person: the sort of point of view character for us, Gwen. "Torchwood , a spin-off from the popular sci-fi show Doctor Who, follows a group of investigators working for the secret organisation of the same name. Set in Cardiff, the team specialise in alien technology that has landed on Earth, and crime, whether it be alien or human." The opening credits go like this: "Torchwood, outside the government, beyond the police: tracking down alien life on earth and arming the human race against the future. The 21st century is when everything changes, and you've got to be ready."

Ok, back to what I was (really) writing about. Now this show has some things that are less then ideal, but I can say that about Buffy too, and it's obviously one of the most feminist pieces on TV. I'm not saying it's perfect, etc. I'm just saying it's better then other TV, which is saying a lot.

First there's the AWESOME fact that the creators of the show have all ready said that everyone on the show will have romantic or sexual experiences with people of both genders (in the 1st episode Owen seduces a man and a woman, in the 2nd episode we see Gwen kiss an alien inhibited Carys and in the 4th episode we see Jack snogging Ianto) and Jack has all ready (see reference to 2nd episode) called human's ideas of sexuality 'quaint' when someone asks "didn't she say she had a boyfriend." And it seems that Toshiko will have an affair with another woman in the next episode (those in the UK don't tell me what happens, I won't get finished downloading the episode until about wednesday/thursday). This is great as there have been a few shows on the air with gay characters, but I've never seen a show in which all the leads are not quite straight. Bi is still a curse word many places (unfortunately) but I like that all the characters are neither straight nor gay, especially that they're not all straight. Also it seems that whenever we have a cast of mostly gay characters the show is about being gay (see: Will & Grace, The L Word). Here it's just a side point like being straight is a side point to (pick a show on primetime TV). As yet they don't make any big deal about anyone's sexuality, and with the increasing alien encounters, maybe they will expand their definition from bi- to queer, because in my opinion bi- is a 'quaint' term (for me anyway) because there are more then 2 genders out there right now, within the human race.

Then the show introduced me to a piece of technology that I want. It's this thing that transports you to the past, but only a very certain past. You see the emotional imprint of something that happened in the past, and you experience emotionally what the person at that time experienced. Now I think Owen is a big old git, but I think he's starting to learn, because while he had the device he saw a rape (well, the beginnings of one) and he felt the fear, the terror that the woman experienced. (And yes it was someone she knew.) Owen became obsessed with the rapist, because he was never brought to trial. He found him and told him about how he knew, letting him know that he knew what a bastard he was. Gwen has to talk Owen out of stabbing him.

I think this is the only way we can make men understand. (Again, not all men.) They experience the terror, the helplessness, the pain. Unfortunately people learn best from their own experiences. We can talk all we want about the horrors of rape, but unless we can make them feel how horrible it is, most people will never understand the gravity of the situation. I think it would do a lot to end oppression, if everyone has to experience what another person goes through. I'd take that, gladly.

PS If anyone in the UK knows how to create torrents I'd really like the Torchwood DeClassified 6 and up since I can't access it from outside the UK)

Saturday, November 25, 2006

I was up way too late last night

and I looked out my window and saw this:



I am filled with a childlike joy whenever I see snow. The smell invigorates my body, and invites me to dance in it, try to catch a few snowflakes on my tongue, and roll around in it. The smell is so inviting, so comforting, so exciting. People out here don't understand my love of snow. Their loss.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Just a reminder:



Which is today in the US and Canada and tommorrow internationally.

Let's review the Church of Stop Shopping's Ten Commandments (I miss NYC):
1) Thou Shalt Not Shop Till You Drop.
2) Thou Shalt Not Go so Deep In Debt that You’re Paying the Banks next Summer. That is Hell and Damnation!
3) Thou Shalt Stop Pretending that this is NORMAL. The Buy-As-Much-As-You-Can Christmas was Invented by Retailers.
4) Stop Shopping and Start Giving. We All Know What a Good Gift Feels Like. It’s Not About What You Buy.
5) Save Your Soul from the Axis Of Consumer Evil: 1) Big Boxes and Chain Stores and 2) Child Slave Labor
6) Thou Shalt Have No False Idols: Playstation 3 is Not As Good as Real Life. That’s Why We’ll Forget About it by New Years.
7) Thou Shalt Not Trample Thy Neighbor For Sale Items.
8) Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Motorized Ashtrays or Shopping Channel Zircon Chandeliers.
9) Remember: You Don’t have to Buy a Gift to Give a Gift.
10)Let’s Save Christmas from the Shopocalypse! Are We Shopping Ourselves to Death? Christmas makes Intense Plastic Trash,
Burns lots of Fossil Fuel, it’s the Lake of Hellfire!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I was only going for coffee

and I met and got to talk with David FUCKING SUZUKI!!!!!


I don't know what else to say. Damn.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Anamata's Back!

And she's kicking ass. Seriously:
And if mental illness really is illness, why is it treated the way it is? Those who must live out their lives with missing limbs or in wheelchairs experience discrimination, unwanted pity, and diminished expectations, but they are at least seen as having a legitimate illness. The attitude towards those with mental illness is both that the words and ideas of those who are mentally ill is to be utterly disregarded, but also that if they would just shape up and snap out of it, they would no longer be ill - that the illness is a character flaw on their part. While some people may have compassion for the physically ill, the mentally ill are regarded as deliberate malingerers and a waste of resources, and the only debate seems to be about how to handle such difficult people so they irritate the rest of us the least. Little is said about how to distinguish a mere rebel from a person who legitimately is out of control and needs help to have a happy life.

Go read the whole thing.

Monday, November 20, 2006

OJ: "How I Would have killed my wife."

I was reading through my blogroll and came across this:

As everyone probably already knows, Fox news is planning to run a disgusting interview with OJ Simpson about his book, "If I Did It", that talks about how he "would have killed his wife if he had done it".

This is beyond outrageous. We should pay to listen to a murderer fantasize about how he'd kill his wife, given another chance? He's still thinking about ways he could have killed her? This is beyond sick. It must be his favorite topic to ruminate upon.

PLEASE sign the internet petition to stop this digusting display of murder-glorification. It's insanity. It's beyond the pale. It has got to be stopped. Don't let OJ make money off what he did to Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

Please go and sign the petition. This is just so disgusting, I can't even come up with words to describe it.

hat tip: TxFeminist

Update: Book cancelled.

Quote: "I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. "We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson." Well at least Murdoch listens to public opinion.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

2 feminist posts, 1 environmental. Guess I'm back

Help stop destruction like this:


Here's something I recieved from a good friend. It is very important that you contact the governor of Tennessee as it is so beautiful down there, and this strip mining is ruining the land and threatens the health of the locals. It's my old stomping ground and I can't describe to you how beautiful it is there. Pictures and more info can be found here. It's just an email, you can do it.

**PLEASE FORWARD TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, EMAIL ADDRESSES, LISTSERVES, MYSPACE
BULLETIN BOARDS, IMC'S, RADIO SHOWS, MEDIA CONTACTS,
EVERYONE YOU CAN**

If you love mountains please contact the Governor of Tennessee!
phil.bredesen@state.tn.us

WE ARE ABOUT TO KILL STRIP MINING FOR COAL IN TENNESSEE !!

The tide is turning! This is it. We can kill strip mining for
coal in Tennessee for good with your help. This is for all the
marbles. In the last year the entire tone of the campaign against
strip mining has shifted; the strip mine companies are on the
defensive. Now it's time for a knock out punch.

United Mountain Defense and its attorneys recently helped members
of the Tennessee Student Legislature draft a bill which out and
out bans strip mining for coal in the State of Tennessee no 'ifs', 'ands'
or 'buts' a flat out abolishment of the practice known
as strip mining for coal. We are not asking for less strip mining, or
kinder gentler strip mining we are demanding the permanent
abolishment of this horrendous attack on Tennessee's jobs, environment
and culture.

1. This bill was passed by the Tennessee Student Legislature and
now is being passed to Governor Bredesen's desk. Yes, Gov. Bredesen will
read our bill to ban strip mining in Tennessee! After a
week or so there, the bill will be introduced and debated by
the Tennessee General Assembly. If it becomes law all strip mining for
coal in the state of Tennessee will be forbidden by statute.


If you don't know what strip mining is doing to the Appalachians,
you are fortunate. It is an ongoing ecological, social and cultural
disaster of literally geologic proportions. Entire mountains
are being blown up, highland watersheds are being buried forever
and the most diverse habitat in the world is being destroyed
for short term greed. For more information and pictures of the
destruction go to: unitedmountaindefense.org.

Needless to say, we need your help now more than ever. We need
folks to call, email, write, fax, talk to, petition, fly planes
with banners' to contact Governor Bredesen in every way possible
and to express support for this bill.

Please be polite! Governor Bredesen has sent clear signals that
he is not happy with the strip mining for coal happening in our
beautiful state, as has our General Assembly. This is about numbers of
supporters for this bill; it is not an adversarial approach.

After the bill leaves Bredesen's desk and goes to General Assembly,
then we go to step 2: begin calling and emailing the General
Assembly to urge their support for this bill.

Do not be afraid to hit the economics argument first, foremost
and head on in this call in campaign. We have a point by point,
state by state, county by county refutation of any argument that
strip mining creates jobs. Check the citations. State data and
data from the mining industry itself shows that wherever strip
mining has reared its head, mining jobs have plummeted.


In Tennessee that's especially ironic when our number one employer
is tourism. Mining is not even in the top 10. So don't be afraid!
The economic, social and environmental data is all on our side
against strip mining here in Tennessee .

And as the bill makes its way through our Assembly you can bet
the Assemblies of other states will be watching (and hearing)
about what Tennessee is doing. In the 70's, it was Tennessee
that dealt the final blow through legislation to the so called
'broad form deed' which provided much of the momentum for strip
mining then. We hope to repeat history. After Tennessee takes
this step, other states must take the idea more seriously. If
we can get Tennessee to do the right thing for its own economic,
social and environmental interest (and for its people) other
states will come around.

WE NEED YOUR HELP! Don't send us money! How's that for an
argument from an environmental group? Right now we need your
voices to be heard in support for this bill. Once during our
campaign against a road in Tennessee, we got over 45,000 comments
in opposition to it we need that again. This is purely about
numbers. We need everyone: SEAC, NPCA, the Sierra Club, Earth
Justice, OHVEC, App Voices, SELC, the Appalachian Center for
the Economy and the Environment, GreenPeace, SOCM, TCWP, CRMW,
Mountain Justice Summer, EVERYONE to make this a priority. And
of course the coal industry is going to freak out at this overt
offensive against their destruction of our mountains.

For the Mountains!

Call the Governor?s ethics hotline toll free at toll-free: 1-866-442-9025
http://www.state.tn.us/governor/Ethics.do

Governor's Office Tennessee State Capitol Nashville, TN 37243-0001

Phone: 615.741.2001 Fax: 615.532.9711
Email: phil.bredesen@state.tn.us

http://www.state.tn.us/governor/Welcome.do

Visit Bredesen personally!

Join United Mountain Defense info list.

Other things you can do to help save Tennessee 's Mountains.

Email united mountain defense AT yahoo DOT com if you can help, have
any questions, or if you could forward your comments and what
you get back to us.

For the Mountains!
Here is a bare bones copy of the bill.
BE IT ENACTED BY THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE STATE OF TENNESSEE:

SECTION 1. Tennessee Code Annotated, Section 59-8-205 is amended
by adding the following language as subsection (d):

(d) No permit shall be issued for a surface mine utilized for
the purpose of coal mining in the state of Tennessee.

SECTION 2. Tennessee Code Annotated, Section 69-3-107 is amended
by adding the following language as an appropriately designated
subsection:

() The Commissioner shall not have the authority to issue a
permit to an activity prohibited in Tennessee Code Annotated,
Section 59-8-205(d).

SECTION 3. This act shall take effect upon becoming law, the
public welfare requiring it.
Here is more context.
Here's what the news below means. College student government
members
from across Tennessee passed legislation banning strip mining
that will go to the desk of governor Bredesen and possibly to
the Tennessee state
legislature to be made into law. Thanks to Chris Irwin and Gena
Lewis
for drafting the anti-strip mining bills for us. There will
be massive
lobbying for this later so keep your eyes open and tell everyone
you can to support this. We are potentially on the verge of banning strip
mining in
Tennessee.
Woo-hoo!

Members of Tennessee Alumni & Students for Sustainable Campuses
(TASSC) were busy in Nashville this past weekend at the 2006 Tennessee
Intercollegiate State Legislature (TISL). At this annual mock-congress
convergence, student leaders from across the state convene to
write, debate, and pass legislation just like the actual state
legislature. Bills that are passed through both the House and
Senate of TISL are ultimately presented to Governor Bredesen
for review.

Members of TASSC wrote and sponsored a total of seven bills,
four of which were successfully passed:
+ Ban on surface mining for coal in Tennessee

Myspace profile

UNITED MOUNTAIN DEFENSE!

join our list

Check the Global Warming Blog


Please call/email/visit! This is huge and will hopefully affect the rest of the Appalachians, because they are right now being destroyed. One of the most beautiful and diverse ecosystems on the east coast of the US is being devestated and destroyed. More infor about Southern Appalachia can be found here.

Quanto Winners

Check them out (link in title of post), here are some samples:










(also available in my Flickr pool

Friday, November 17, 2006

Some thoughts on strip clubs

The impeccable Reclusive Leftist wrote a post that ended with this question:
Wouldn’t it be great if all the feminist battle units could lay down arms, abandon their entrenched rhetorical positions, and start talking afresh on what we know, what we can agree on, and how we might work together to help the sex workers who are out there on the front lines getting battered daily by johns and pervs and pimps?

Because many of us involved with the porn wars know, is that we sometimes get painted with being anti-sex worker because we're anti-sex WORK. (Work does not equal worker, btw.) Which is patently untrue.

I know that in my case I am not only a radical feminist, but I am also a delegate for the Industrial Workers of the World. While it is a radical union, it is not the bastion of forward thinking and equality that one would hope for, so when I proclaim that I am a feminist (loudly and often) I am asked what I think of the workers at the Lusty Lady who unionised, and if I am against unionisation of strip clubs because I am against strip clubs. Well, that's oversimplifying and is pure and utter bullshit. The answer I give that seems to be etched into my memory now is that I am all for unionising strip clubs. They are horrible, degrading, and often dangerous places to work (for reasons mentioned by a stripper at Violet's post that's linked above). I want the workers to be able to make them the best and safest place that they possibly can (which is still scary given the way the customers view women), but that this is only one small step. Like the ideas of the IWW I want to get rid of the bosses and only have worker collectives. Well, we can't make that happen overnight, so a union is a way to help put more control in the workers hands, for now. The IWW is not satisfied with just unions as I am not satisfied with replacing strip clubs with unionised strip clubs. Yes, one is better then the other. Yes, sex workers are workers, and ones who work in a very dangerous environment that they should be able to make some rules and make their experience better. So for now, I am all in favour of unionisation. But that's only for right now. I imagine a world without strip clubs, where women are no longer the sex class.

Which brings me to other questions. Who would want to salt a place like that? (Salting is where you get union members hired into a job that you are trying to unionise.) I (years ago) thought about it, but I've definitely healed past that point and can't shield myself from the degredation and humiliation any more. (Thank god. I am done dissociating. NO MORE.) Seriously, I have little problem finding people interested in salting Starbucks, but I couldn't imagine asking any woman to salt a strip club. I'd even salt at (*retch*) Starfuckerbucks, but it's different. I can't imagine asking a woman to go through that for the good of a union.

ALSO: Because I've met many men who seem to think that going to a unionised strip club is better then a "regular" strip club: you're all misogynist bastards. Don't go to strip clubs. Try this on for size: see women as something more then a masturbatory tool. They are human, just like you (I know some of you can't believe that.) See them as your equal. Try that instead of a strip club. It's much more fulfilling.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What a Week

This just about sums it up.

Everybody makes mistakes
but i feel alright when i come undone
you are not making me wait
but it seems alright as long as something's happening
i try to make you late
but you fighting me off like a fire does
you try making me wait
but it feels alright as long as something's happening

get your payments from the nation
for your trials and tribulations

you try to make me wait
you come around when it's come undone
everybody makes you late
and it's never you because you're always thinking
i try making you wait
and give you me some like you give it good
everybody makes mistakes
but it seems it's mine that always keep on stinging

get your payments from the nation
for your trials and tribulations
x2

you try making me wait
but you come undone when you come undone
everybody makes mistakes
but it's always mine that seem to keep on sticking

get your payments from the nation
for your trials and tribulations
x5
Tribulations by LCD Soundsystem (It's one of my favourite songs)

Though I'm 99.999999% sure I just aced my math quiz! WOOT! (I'll tell you all about why my car was left in Tacoma this weekend, etc later. Let's say baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad week.)

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Do they make a patch for this?

Seriously. I go on quiz binges. It's not good.


Which Twin Peaks character are you?





You're Agent Albert Rosenfield, the snide and superior forensics expert. Your tongue is sharper than your scalpel, and it doesn't take long for people to start hating you for your supercilious quips, but you are the very best at what you do. You don't suffer fools gladly, but you give respect when it's due. In fact, you're a good guy at heart, but so wedded to your sarcasm that you can rarely stand to treat people kindly.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Awesome


You are The Star


Hope, expectation, Bright promises.


The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised


The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.



Courtesy of the fantabulous Laura

But I found another one that says "Destroyer of patriarchy":





Sekhmet



Observant, authoritative, indulgent, moral and witty.

Colors: male: green, female: turquoise
Compatible Signs:
Bastet, Geb
Dates:
July 29 - Aug 11, Oct 30 - Nov 7

Role: Goddess of war and vengeance
Appearance:
Lion-headed woman with the sun over her head
Sacred Animal: lion


What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries


Friday, November 10, 2006

BPD

Because I once again have blown a friendship because of my chaotic and unstable behaviour I am giving you a refresher on what those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder experience:

-Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
-A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
-Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
-Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
-Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
-Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
-Chronic feelings of emptiness
-Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
-Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

It's not an excuse, but please those of you who know me, take this into consideration as I just can't deal with losing one more loved one due to my brain disorder.

Seriously, it takes me by surprise as much as you. I've been trying to contain it, controll it, all my life. Sometimes I'm doing just fine and then *BOOM* I spin out of control in a matter of minutes for god knows what reason. I can't predict it, I can't control it, and I certainly am failing miserably at dealing with it (at least when other people are involved). I'm trying my hardest everyday. I can't control the mood swings, the intense changes in behaviour. I wish I could, I really do. I'm so sick of feeling broken whenever my BPD flares up.

I'm dealing with it one moment at a time.

It's all anyone can really do.

Also: It's good to note that since I suffered abuse all my childhood my immediate reaction to a threatening situation is to run away, whether by dissociating or distance.

I always try and keep this stuff in mind when dealing with my friends; all I'm asking is that you all try to keep it in mind to if a friend of yours suffers from BPD (or PTSD, same symptoms in a lot of ways. Luckily I have both!). I guess that why my exroomie Christy and I are best friends. We both have BPD and PTSD. We get each other, we understand the craziness. But having friends who only have BPD or PTSd is somewhat limiting.

To everyone of my friends that has experienced this: I'm working on it, I really am. I apologise if I made you feel like shit. It's never my intention to hurt the people that I love. If I've shut down on you, well, that just happens. It's how my brain responds to stress.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I HATE YOU!

I really, really do.

Grrrrrrrrr..............

US Residents

Remember to vote!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

I don't know how to feel about this?

Brad Will murdered in Oaxaca

Some may recognise the name from my blog against Sexual Violence day post. One of my abusers, who acted in a predatory manner towards so many women in the activist community in the US on both coasts is dead, and I keep recieving all the emails from the activist community all angry and sad, yet I just want to respond with how much of a sexual predator and abuser he was. But as yet I've held my tongue. I've been sitting on this for a week, wanting to blog it, wanting to cheer that this bastard is dead, wanting to mourn the death of an activist, but to me you cannot affect change while being a misogynist fuck. Or by being racist/homophobic/classist/etc. Though I haven't sent that email back to the list, I am telling you all in blogoland about this, and a search looking for Brad Will might bring people here, but then again it might have brought them here before. Yes it is sad someone doing good work was killed, but think of all the women he cannot terrorise now. All the women who will remain in the activist scene, not being chased off by the predator. Reading all about how great he was just makes me sick to my stomach, because for many of us women, he was horrible. No more glorifying the dead. Fuck it.

I've been having many dreams lately that have to do with my past in NYC, my past that included Brad. I can't say that they've done anything to help my PTSD, but at least in my concious mind I know that he cannot hurt me or anyone else anymore. That at an activist gathering I no longer need to have that awkward conversation with a bunch of men who think he's great about how he's a sexual predator. No more being approached by other women to go to the group and ask that Brad be asked to leave. No more.

So why isn't it over for me yet?

PS: Joida's back. Go say hi.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Cat blogging has been suspended for the week

Want to see kitties? Check out their web pages:
Mischief
Logan
Wolverine

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