Thursday, October 26, 2006

Only Men can stop rape.

from: I'm Not a Feminist, But

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Hell, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that bullshit, how about:

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, re-post it. It's that important.

-Author unknown.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more with this post. The type of people who blame the victim are often those who believe in a "just-world". They believe that life is inherently good, and when something horrible like rape happens, they excuse it by saying the victim was "asking for it".

Anyway, I do have a problem with the: "If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her" line. It seems to suggest that raping a woman is more excusable than raping a teenager, when they are both equally heinous acts IMO.

-Alex

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this. I am fed up with rape and how little is done to stop it.
Rhea
The Boomer Chronicles

RGM said...

Fantastic, I'm going to put this up at my blog too, because, y'know, I agree with it.

Liz said...

EXCELLENT! I am so sick of those helpful emails that tell me that men are hiding under my car in the mall parking lot, when the truth is, statistically speaking, if I don't want to be sexually assaulted or beaten up the first thing I should do is not have a boyfriend. Next I shouldn't have any male relatives.

Laura said...

"...statistically speaking, if I don't want to be sexually assaulted or beaten up the first thing I should do is not have a boyfriend. Next I shouldn't have any male relatives."

Exactly. You don't know how many times I've said that to people and heard 'But it's not the saaaaaaaaame' in reply. Yes, yes it is, and it shows just what a pile of balls your 'don't walk alone at night' logic is.

hev said...

THe thing is, having a boyfriend is worth the risk that you're more likely to be raped. Walking alone atr night has no upside or advantages, but you are putting yourself in unneccesary danger, not only in the form of rape. I agree with the whole thing except "Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape."
-I will always try to tell both my male and female friends how to be safe and avoid rape, because I care about them.

lost clown said...

Boyfriends rape as well. You're more likely to be attacked by someone you know then by a stranger.

Also telling women not to do all these things is creating and sustaining a rape culture. The patriarchy wants us to be scared, wants us to feel like we can prevent it by staying in/not walking alone/not drinking/not wearing a short skirt/etc.

But unfortunately most women are attacked by people they know in either PJs or jeans.

Liz said...

I've always thought that telling women to stay in at night and get men to protect them or they might get raped was a little like the mafia guy who enters a business and suggests to the owner that they should pay their insurance because they wouldn't want a fire.

lost clown said...

That's a good way of putting it.

Anonymous said...

You sound like a feminist, which is a good thing. I agree wholeheartedly with your post. I am a feminist and it is about time something is done to stop rape. All I hear is how I should change my behavior. What about the rapists' behavior?

Anonymous said...

i'm a young man that tried to rape one of my best friends she was a prior ex, and i feel like hte biggest piece of shit in the world, i dont no what over came me ,thank god i stopped myself but i wanna try no matter what little it does, i wanna try to make it up to her does neone have ne positive suggestions

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