Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Why is it...

...that everytime someone starts a sentence with "Not to be a jerk" they invariably are one? Why? From the miscarriage thread:
Not to be a jerk, but 3 times? Wouldn't it be easier to just get some birth control? I understand that it isn't readily accessable in some places, but it isn't impossible, and it's certainly easier to obtain bc than an abortion in the US. There are also permanant sterilization methods other than a tubal ligation. There is an insert called Essure, much like an IUD (i.e. Mirena, which is almost 100% effective for 5 years by the way, and costs up to a few hundred dollars for a one time insertion, but usually less). Unlike the IUD, which will be removed to return your fertilization in a few years, Essure causes the fallopian tubes to close off; you are sterile within a few weeks I believe. Google for more information, these are methods I myself am considering.

I believe in choice, but I also believe that using abortions as birth control is irresponsible. I'm not saying you are irresposnible, I don't know your circumstances at all, so please just take that statement as my opinion and not an attack. Also, don't take it to mean that I believe you are stupid or uninformed because I described those birth control methods. They are ones I just heard of myself, so I wanted to share.

Be safe...and have a good afternoon!
Really then was the first paragraph necessary? She took the time to point out that she knows NOTHING about me, yet felt the need to (incompletely I might add) lecture me on birth control? Seriously what is wrong with people?

Here was my response:
A) Then why be a jerk as you were in your comment? You knew you were going to be, saying "not to be a jerk" does not somehow absolve you of your jerktitude. By the way, a "couple 100 dollars" is too much for many women (edit: including me). Watch out, your privilege is showing.

B) Condoms fail, and 3 times in (a whole lot of) years? Not so bad considering that EC was NOT readily available the first time I had to do it, and I was too young to get my tubes tied. I know about birth control. It sometimes fails. Leave your lectures for somewhere else.


Argh.

14 comments:

ginmar said...

Any time somebody precedes a statement with that type of phrase, you know you're about to get fucked. Politely, though.

lost clown said...

I know, it's a pattern. WHy not just come out and be a jerk/ass/whatever.

TP said...

Also, why would they assume because you didn't want to carry a specific fetus to term you would never ever want a child. Getting sterilised, for God's sake.

Biting Beaver said...

LOL I know exactly what you're saying on this. It's just like the "I'm sorry, but..." thing all over again.

If someone has to disclaim their statement in that way then you know they're not sorry and furthermore, they really don't give a shit if they're being rude or not, they just want to politely warn you first.

Ginmar is right on target on this one.

alyx said...

"saying 'not to be a jerk' does not somehow absolve you of your jerkitude."

lol. Love it.

Kim said...

Another surefire clue, along with "Not to be a jerk but..." that some fuckery is about to commence: The dreaded "Um."

Laurelin said...

'Not to be a jerk, but...' is rather akin to 'I'm not being racist, but...'

It's the 'but' that gives you away, chaps.

witchy-woo said...

Exactly. It's just the same as starting with "I'm not blaming the victim...." and then proceding to do precisely that.

Fuckwits, the lot of 'em.

lost clown said...

I sometimes Um.

uh oh, I didn't know it was on par with the "not to be a jerk" I'll stop that.

Kim said...

LC: You alone have permission to "Um" without ever being a jerk. :)

There are different "ums." Some Ums are actaully nice. I should have clarified.

The Um's indicating jerkiness are those at beginning of a sentance, followed by a period, usually inferring the person has stupidly missed a major fact:

"Um. Women rape too."

Dr. Brazen Hussy said...

I love it that it ended with "...and have a good afternoon!"

I got a hate mail awhile ago, which went on and on about what an angry bitch I was, and was full of Bush-lovin' propaganda. She then ended with "But I love you anyway!" Uh huh.

lost clown said...

he he.

I can't imagine why people think that that makes everything they just said ok. Why say it at all then?

Mike said...

Not to leave a comment, but...

lost clown said...

Hehehe. Awesome.

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