Spokane

I went to visit my friend in Spokane this weekend. We went on a Benny and Joon abbreviated tour (I saw the hospital and the Milk Bottle diner) and we stayed on her boss's goat farm in the country. It was a nice relaxing trip. I'm only sad I didn't try to meet up with Terry from I see Invisible People.

Here's the sad part: When I was on the bus there was a little girl, must have been about 7 or 8 talking about the national fitness standards tests they give all kids, i.e. how many sit ups can you do, how far can you sit and reach, how fast can you run a mile, etc. She was talking about wanting to go running, etc, and she seemed to have a lot of kid energy. The she started talking about the weight portion of the test. She told her mom she had to eat right, and that she'd gained weight in the past couple of weeks and how she was worried that they would tell her that she was overweight. She was a twig. (And gaining weight in spurts is normal at that age). It's not surprising, but it's always sad when I hear stuff like this from girls, especially girls that young.

Bipolar II

I have been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and have been given a new mood stabiliser. Apparently it's the new kid on the block and is an anti-depressant as well. Hopefully this will work well and I won't get the horrid rash that means I have to stop taking it. *fingers crossed*

Can I get some crazy with that cake?

This year sucks. This year alone I have been diagnosed as ADD and with Bipolar moods. So that adds to my previous diagnoses of PTSD, BPD, and depressed. I love the rollercoaster. ACK.

Why?

Ugh. A person doesn't change when they get a sex change, I don't understand why they would fire a respected city official.

Stanton, 48, confirmed last week that he is a transsexual. With a solid reputation as a forceful and energetic leader, he had hoped to keep his $140,000-a-year job as he underwent the gender reassignment process.

"It's just painful to know seven days ago I was a good guy and now ... I have no integrity," Stanton told the commission. "My challenge here has always been that someday I was going to leave this organization. So I am going to do it with a smile on my face."

....

Mayor Patricia Gerard and Commissioner Rodney Woods cast the dissenting votes.

"He's done a great job for us," Gerard said. "He's done what we asked him to do and taken the heat over and over and over again and now we're going to turn on him."


Grrrr....I hate the world some days.

Self Injury Awareness Day

Dr. Deborah Serani has a good post up (see link) on the ins and outs of self harm. I think her table on why people self harm is pretty accurate, being someone who self harms myself. (Or used to. It's been 9 months without any self harm, go me. But it's also been 9 months with an emergency stash of Xanax, so no horrific anxiety attacks that I was awake for.)



The dissociation route is me. And for me instead of being told I want attention (so why did I cut in areas other people wouldn't see unless they saw me naked?) or something else inane like that, the reasons for my self harm are actually on target in this graph. We know it's bad, it doesn't mean it doesn't help us cope with dissociation. I'm in the middle of exploring other ways to ground myself. We'll see how this goes. In the middle of June it will be a year since I last self harmed, and it is myu biggest scar yet, so I've got my fingers crossed that the meds keep doing their job.

If you know a self injurer, leave your judgement at the door. Trust me, we're all ready thinking it, hence the amount of shame surrounding self harm.

Hat tip Terry at I See Invisible People