For my friends to put on the yearly Autonomous Mutant Fest. Now I used to go all the time when I traveled with The End of the World Circus, but I was feeling a lot stronger last year and kind of missed some of the people that I have known for a decade. I was thinking about going again this year to see those few people that I miss dearly and only got to see for a short time last year. So here's the thing(s):
-Having to see someone who tries to be my friend after our entire relationship consisted of him trying to fuck me, me saying 'no' and threatening to hit him with various things, and me telling women he was hitting on that he had STD's and he wouldn't tell them about them and that he wouldn't wear a condom (everyone in the circus knew this, why so many rad women say that they love him is beyond me. I've actually punched him once or twice. No love here. I wish he was dead.)
-Having to deal with circus freaks like abovementioned asshole who think that burlesque and porn are peachy keen and contain women who constantly try to 'outsexy' each and run around wearing next to nothing b/c that's what radical circus people do and try to drag me into it. (YO! I'm a CLOWN! We're only sexy in a completely anti-establishment sexy kind of way. We wear funny clothes and make asses of ourselves. That's fucking hot.)
-Also have to deal with men and women who think I should lighten up about forementioned asshole because 'it's Pierre, everybody loves him!' Also have to deal with circus men thinking that I will want to sleep with them with or without their partner's knowledge because hey, they're polyamorists. (Sometimes the invite includes said partner, but seriously if you can't hang out with me as a friend and are only nice to me when you want in my pants I ain't gonna sleep with you. Now if we're all friends and you like me for more then how I look well then we can have a crazy good time.)
-Last year after the screening of a couple of Lost Film Festival movies somebody put a porn on. No warning, no indication that the next movie was going to be a porn. Parents were upset (good amount of kids in the audience); I was spitting nails. But you know it's cool, because some people made it at the festival. That's subversive, dude. Also since I was lucky enough to see the beggining (since I had no time to leave beforehand) I noticed that this subversive porn contained about 5 seconds of foreplay. Yeah because I know any woman who gets off in 5 seconds. Also NO CONDOM! This was the last thing I saw (I had to collect my props from the circus show we had before the film...I would have been glad to have seen the first second and taken off like a bat out of hell, but I have some nice props.) and loudly yelled about. Someone then yelled where condoms could be found for free.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. The pure assumption that everyone would be ok with porn b/c we're all so subversive and counter-culture pissed me off. As I found my way away from the camp they were showing this at I ran into some mothers who were just as angry as I was about how there was no warning and about how showing a porn in totally open space like that was horrible. Some had a feminist tint to their concerns, but I was the only one sans kid complaining about the porn. Most concerns were about their children seeing them, and that is a concern as well, but I want to live in a world where women aren't seen and pushed onto us as fuckholes. Everyone else was all 'lighten up' though I did have a good conversation with a fellow female clown about how porn is bad and the difference between porn and erotica. She got it, but I don't think fully, but that someone in that atmosphere who's friends with Pierre (asshole of the second paragraph) was open to listening and actually thinking about what I said was awesome. Sheesh. Somedays it's like begging for scraps.
Gah. I'm supposed to go back, but this just makes me pissy. I hate people sometimes. Maybe for just a weekend. If it sucks I can always leave. But there are a few people that I want to get in touch with that I have no other way of getting in touch with. I miss Brian...he's teh awesome. *sigh*
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
GET THE ALIEN FETUS OUT OF MY HEAD NOW!!!
I have had either 3 migraines in the past week and a half, or 1 2-day migraine and one 1 day migraine. I fucking hate them. Neurologist (appt. today) said that if they continue at this rate that I should come back, but if they go back to happening once or twice a month that I shouldn't worry about it. It's no big deal. Because migraines are such a hoot.
Bah.
Bah.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Time to meet the family
Before my computer was stolen I got a good deal on a digital camera, but now it's gone, but I still have the camera so it's time to meet my lovely kittyfaceheads.
This is Mischief:
She likes to follow random people home and to hang out with the neighbours. We go on walks and she responds to her name. She also runs up to greet me everytime I come home. Has also been known to drink water out of fish bowls and likes to play in the shower. She's 3 and my friend's found her running around the inside of a grocery store when she was a kitten. Somehow she charmed her way into my life (I was only supposed to watch her til they found a place for her, but now she's my best friend in the world.)
But wait....what's over there?
This room isn't blocked off usually...hmmmm, better investigate closer.
OH NOES! It seems that there are some intruders in the house!
Yep, not everything has been sucky lately, though Mischief's unpleasantness with the interlopers has made hard times even harder. I miss her so much. She doesn't even sleep with me anymore, but hopefully that'll change.
Meet Logan. So far he's the only cat in the house who likes me right now and ALWAYS wants attention, pets, and treats.
He likes to chew on electrical cords, lick my nose, chase his sister, and generally try and get into as much trouble as Mischief, who he also likes to follow around the house. He's also still pretty clumsy as he's got big paws and hasn't quite grown into them yet. We were snuggling on my bed the other day (which is lofted) and he rolled over right off the bed. Tehehe. I usually like to name my cats acccording to personality, but after all the stupid questions about his sister's name, he got the name Logan, partly as a joke, partly because I like that name, and partly because it stops people from asking the stupid questions about his sister's name.
And this is his sister Wolverine (named for my personal radical feminist mascot). She's a flurry of tooth and claw. She's been being socialised since the beginning of June and I just got her to purr last week (incidentally when I stopped petting her she hissed at me and ran away).
She enjoys growling, hissing, scratching, and biting anyone who gets in her space. Also if you are in the room and she happens to walk in she will generally stop and hiss at you before carrying on, just to remind you that she doesn't like you. (But she's so cute!!!)
Wolverine and Logan were found with their 2 littermates hanging out by the art annex on campus. I only wanted to take one, but it's best that Wolver-"I'll rip your face off"-ine and Lo-"I just want you to love and play with me forever"-gan went to a home together. I think it's one of the reasons I can now pick her up without a towel (though still very carefully), and the reason she's gotten so comfortable around me so quickly. They're about 19 weeks now and getting fixed on Thursday (which will hopefully help sort out the Mischief hates me situation), but these pictures were taken a month ago when I first got them.
So there you go. These are my cutie heads. I did warn y'all that if I got a digital camera this place would be smattered with pictures, right? Oh and here's one more, cuz it's just too damn cute to leave out:
This is Mischief:
She likes to follow random people home and to hang out with the neighbours. We go on walks and she responds to her name. She also runs up to greet me everytime I come home. Has also been known to drink water out of fish bowls and likes to play in the shower. She's 3 and my friend's found her running around the inside of a grocery store when she was a kitten. Somehow she charmed her way into my life (I was only supposed to watch her til they found a place for her, but now she's my best friend in the world.)But wait....what's over there?
This room isn't blocked off usually...hmmmm, better investigate closer.
OH NOES! It seems that there are some intruders in the house!
Yep, not everything has been sucky lately, though Mischief's unpleasantness with the interlopers has made hard times even harder. I miss her so much. She doesn't even sleep with me anymore, but hopefully that'll change.
Meet Logan. So far he's the only cat in the house who likes me right now and ALWAYS wants attention, pets, and treats.
He likes to chew on electrical cords, lick my nose, chase his sister, and generally try and get into as much trouble as Mischief, who he also likes to follow around the house. He's also still pretty clumsy as he's got big paws and hasn't quite grown into them yet. We were snuggling on my bed the other day (which is lofted) and he rolled over right off the bed. Tehehe. I usually like to name my cats acccording to personality, but after all the stupid questions about his sister's name, he got the name Logan, partly as a joke, partly because I like that name, and partly because it stops people from asking the stupid questions about his sister's name.
And this is his sister Wolverine (named for my personal radical feminist mascot). She's a flurry of tooth and claw. She's been being socialised since the beginning of June and I just got her to purr last week (incidentally when I stopped petting her she hissed at me and ran away).
She enjoys growling, hissing, scratching, and biting anyone who gets in her space. Also if you are in the room and she happens to walk in she will generally stop and hiss at you before carrying on, just to remind you that she doesn't like you. (But she's so cute!!!)Wolverine and Logan were found with their 2 littermates hanging out by the art annex on campus. I only wanted to take one, but it's best that Wolver-"I'll rip your face off"-ine and Lo-"I just want you to love and play with me forever"-gan went to a home together. I think it's one of the reasons I can now pick her up without a towel (though still very carefully), and the reason she's gotten so comfortable around me so quickly. They're about 19 weeks now and getting fixed on Thursday (which will hopefully help sort out the Mischief hates me situation), but these pictures were taken a month ago when I first got them.
So there you go. These are my cutie heads. I did warn y'all that if I got a digital camera this place would be smattered with pictures, right? Oh and here's one more, cuz it's just too damn cute to leave out:
Sunday, July 23, 2006
More reasons to hate American football
(other than the fact that it's super machismo rugby for wimps)
So the local football team, the BC Lions has started running ad campaigns that include men:
-shopping for candles and home accessories
-discussing fabric softener, or doing just about any number of "un-manly" things (i.e. I forgot the rest of the commercials). Then these men get knocked unconcious by a football to the head. The tag line is You need some football in your life. The object of the campaign being that if you're not swilling overpriced crappy bear, hooting and hollering and ogleing the 'Felions' (yes you read that correctly), then you are not a man, but then again, the BC Lions have the answer. If you are a man and choose to discuss things that are apparently 'un-manly' you can regain your testicular self worth by consuming football.
These commercials irk me. No I don't stand around discussing how good someone's fabric softener smells (mostly b/c the scented ones generally make me sneeze, but if someone smells pleasant I may ask them what that scent is), but one would assume that some people do, though according to the BC Lions publicists, those people are supposed to be women. Or unmanly men. Because we all know that men are not supposed to worry about the day to day household things at all. That's not what they do, that's what women are here for right?
Gah, my next post is about sports, AGAIN. It's more about Italian culture but the tie in was my experience the day we won the world cup (yes I'm Sicilian).
So the local football team, the BC Lions has started running ad campaigns that include men:
-shopping for candles and home accessories
-discussing fabric softener, or doing just about any number of "un-manly" things (i.e. I forgot the rest of the commercials). Then these men get knocked unconcious by a football to the head. The tag line is You need some football in your life. The object of the campaign being that if you're not swilling overpriced crappy bear, hooting and hollering and ogleing the 'Felions' (yes you read that correctly), then you are not a man, but then again, the BC Lions have the answer. If you are a man and choose to discuss things that are apparently 'un-manly' you can regain your testicular self worth by consuming football.
These commercials irk me. No I don't stand around discussing how good someone's fabric softener smells (mostly b/c the scented ones generally make me sneeze, but if someone smells pleasant I may ask them what that scent is), but one would assume that some people do, though according to the BC Lions publicists, those people are supposed to be women. Or unmanly men. Because we all know that men are not supposed to worry about the day to day household things at all. That's not what they do, that's what women are here for right?
Gah, my next post is about sports, AGAIN. It's more about Italian culture but the tie in was my experience the day we won the world cup (yes I'm Sicilian).
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I'm not dead
I'm just computerless, broke, and anxious. It's been an awesome week. I've acted out in two of the three ways that I have historically acted out (not cutting this time), can't say it's been very fun, but oh well. I miss you all terribly and have a few posts in the works (I've recently been actually hanging out with people (*GASP*) and have a lot to say about it. Grrrr.