tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post113929834464408072..comments2023-10-25T04:40:48.556-07:00Comments on Angry for a Reason: News from the land of WTF!lost clownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02751161198550585778noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139900294568781402006-02-13T22:58:00.000-08:002006-02-13T22:58:00.000-08:00yup. that's familiar, both the 'hey you're sleepin...yup. that's familiar, both the 'hey you're sleeping, you don't mind if i molest you' and the ptsd.<BR/><BR/>people have immense capacity for dehumanizing others, even in the middle of citiquing others for dehumanizing others, as has been my experience with political men, and women, come to think of it.<BR/><BR/>i'm glad you're voicing your anger. you have a right to it.rabfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16784748066010530771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139454493450266052006-02-08T19:08:00.000-08:002006-02-08T19:08:00.000-08:00Ugh, and we never take them to court, but now that...Ugh, and we never take them to court, but now that that verdict is passed down I'm sure it will happen even less.<BR/><BR/>Fuckheads.<BR/><BR/>(and my behaviour has changed drastically b/c of this shit.)lost clownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02751161198550585778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139444707627163372006-02-08T16:25:00.000-08:002006-02-08T16:25:00.000-08:00Oh Lost Clown - that's awful, I'm so sorry.I haven...Oh Lost Clown - that's awful, I'm so sorry.<BR/><BR/>I haven't had that experience personally, but too many people I know have, with so-called anarchists, and other supposed leftists. I seriously modify my behaviour because I don't feel safe around men.Maiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17212711843307060731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139369497156274972006-02-07T19:31:00.000-08:002006-02-07T19:31:00.000-08:00I knew another guy in college who admitted it outr...I knew another guy in college who admitted it outright. He said, "I know, it's not fair, but if any man has ever touched any part of any woman's body, he feels he has the right to access that part at any time he wishes, forever." He said it all matter-of-factly, like it wasn't the most evil thing ever. I mean, what if he had said, "And we white people, because we used to own black people as slaves, will always feel entitled to force them to labor for us, and that's just the way things are"? It's sick.<BR/><BR/>Sounds like anything this Luke guy may have ever left at your apartment is now yours, by divine right, and he can fuck the hell off. What, does he assume that his behavior, which upsets you so greatly, makes you buddies? Even acquaintances?<BR/><BR/>My father taught me an old hoodoo-esque curse for situations just like this one. If you're really, really ready to stop allowing someone in your life and in your head, and you're exhausted from feeling angry and upset, then you do this. Very solemnly, at a quiet time (like midnight), you take out a clean piece of paper and write his name on it, slowly and carefully. Stare at it, distance yourself from it, and then draw one line through it. This person ceases to exist to you. <BR/><BR/>I know it sounds hokey, and I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but I've done it to exactly two people in my life, people who tormented me for years, and when I did this, I passed them in the street without recognizing them. It's not forgiveness, which they don't deserve, and it's not everlasting hatred. It's not knowing and not caring whether they're alive or dead, and moving on.A White Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04378226135352153241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139368196562891222006-02-07T19:09:00.000-08:002006-02-07T19:09:00.000-08:00Ugh. Sorry to hear about that. The fucked up thi...Ugh. Sorry to hear about that. The fucked up thing is (well, another fucked up thing is) that he in no way was going to make it to my bed, I learned that lesson from being molested several times while in bed or sleeping. He only thought that if I <I>let him into my apartment to grab something that he left there</I> that apparently I wanted him to slobber all over me. Not that being in bed makes it any more ok, b/c that's just as fucked up especially if you continue saying "no." (Fucked up anyway. but especially having PTSD I have fought long and hard to be able to use my voice and having it ignored like that is supremely fucked and probably added years to my therapy.)<BR/><BR/>One word why guys don't understand: Entitlement. They believe that they are entitled to our bodies, and that when we say "no" we really mean "yes." Fuckers.lost clownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02751161198550585778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139364344223362102006-02-07T18:05:00.000-08:002006-02-07T18:05:00.000-08:00Yikes, LC. It's shocking how much even the guys we...Yikes, LC. It's shocking how much even the guys we think of as "nice" are happy to take advantage. In college once, I ended up sharing my bunk with a male friend who was so drunk after a party I feared he'd be sick in his sleep and choke. I thought if I slept next to him, I'd know if he was going to barf and wake him up. The plan was going along just fine until he sobered up enough to molest me. <BR/><BR/>After that, he was always giving me a wink, like we'd shared something intimate. Wasn't it obvious that I was stiff as board and kept saying "No, don't do that"? I never really spoke to him again, because I never felt like I could say, "I invited your drunk ass into my bed so I could save your stinking worthless life from choking on your vomit, not so you could put your hands in my pants." <BR/><BR/>Why don't guys understand this? Women are very good at giving clear go-ahead signals when we want to have sex. Sometimes, we even say, "I'd like to have sex with you." If I went up to some guy who showed no interest in me and put my hands in his pants, I guarandamntee he'd be shocked and appalled and say so.A White Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04378226135352153241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139332449121172662006-02-07T09:14:00.000-08:002006-02-07T09:14:00.000-08:00LC, I hear you. My x husband raped me repeatedly t...LC, I hear you. My x husband raped me repeatedly through the marriage and I STILL can't scream at him. Mostly because the man terrifies me, but the point is that so many of us have gone through this and we never get to scream about it. <BR/><BR/>The whole bullshit line of "She's playing hard to get" is something I've <A HREF="http://bitingbeaver.blogspot.com/2005/11/shes-just-playing-hard-to-get.html" REL="nofollow">tried to tackle</A> on my blog. It's an excuse and a shitty one at that. <BR/><BR/>No means No assholes. <BR/><BR/>*slinks off to fume*Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15657292949609972791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20186784.post-1139330390442358112006-02-07T08:39:00.000-08:002006-02-07T08:39:00.000-08:00I second that - blogs are a great safe place to ge...I second that - blogs are a great safe place to get cross and vent. I hope it helps.<BR/><BR/>Look after yourself. TP.TPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00483648212124828160noreply@blogger.com